“When it hurts too much, is it time to stop loving you?”

“Shall we go on a date today?” she suggested excitedly.

Ara watched his exaggerated continuous nod at the girl before him.

It was certainly Sungjin regardless of how many times she looked away and back at him.
The tears forming in her eyes fell and Ara realized she was trembling as she put her phone down. The couple left the café and Ara found herself trailing behind them like a puppy. She had always been following him but it had never occurred to her that she was pathetic. Not until today. She could have turned and left but her heart willed her to continue following them.

“Maybe she was just a dongsaeng, or a cousin or a . . .” Ara found her mind making up excuses for Sungjin.

Ara watched the girl remove his mask and beamed from ear to ear.

He smiled and she watched her tiptoe, claiming his lips so righteously. It was late and the street lights gave her a good view.

Sungjin deepened the kiss and Ara felt her heart-shattering.

“Fans say that Sungjin looks exceptionally handsome these days, she comments asking if you have a girlfriend?” The emcee reads out the note.

DAY6 members made noises at the question for the fun of it.

“My heart belongs to MYDAYS” Sungjin replied and covered his eyes with his hands shaking his shoulder from left to right.

He was shy and it was so adorable. The fans screamed at his response.

“Lies” She mumbled to herself.

To be honest, Ara had known about the dark secret of the idol industry. Almost everyone in the industry had underground relationships and it was not uncommon where many companies bribed agencies to sweep dating scandals under the carpet. Ara knew Sungjin was probably lying when he said he didn’t have a girlfriend. But seeing them intimate like this made her feel hurt and deceived. After all, he was Park Sungjin, she would protect him with all her life, the one she devoted all her time and life to, and this was the best he could repay her love.

It hurts.

Ara turned her back against the scene and walked away with heavy steps.

“Was that . . . DAY6’s Sungjin and an . . . actress?”

Ara snapped her head at the source of the voice and noticed a man with a bulky DSLR slung around his neck. It didn’t take her long to realize it was a Dispatch’s reporter. She had snuck into some of their press conferences. Ara bit her lips and trailed his gaze to the couple that entered the supermarket.

He quickly followed into the supermarket and Ara found herself entering the same place. The reporter’s eyes were like those of a hawk, searching for its prey. Ara felt her heart racing in fear when she spotted Sungjin smiling so brightly at the fruit section around her, she felt bitter. Ara turned back and saw a reporter walking down another aisle, approaching soon. He had his camera already in his hands. If she had walked away now, they would get caught. And they would end up in a not so happy ending. But was that really what she wanted?

“Screw this” She mumbled to herself.

Kicking the stacked up baskets beside her in the direction of the approaching reporter, she faked a fall. Colliding into the middle-aged man who fell together with his camera, she hit the ground with him. Strings of cursed words came out from the man’s mouth as he checked his camera. Ara apologized repeatedly and scanned the fruit sections from the corner of her eyes. They are gone. She sighed in relief.

“Another bottle of soju please” Ara shot her hands up in the air before collapsing on the table.

“Here” The lady handed her, shaking her head.

“Without you, what would my life be like . . . “she mumbled to herself.

“I shouldn’t be acting like this right? “She laughed at herself.

“After all, I am just a fan and you are there,” She pointed to the ceiling of the shop.
The alcohol made her dizzy and she comfortably found the table a nice place to sleep. The lady boss shook her head, recognizing the fansite master. She decided to let her rest for a bit, wondering why she was in such a bad mood.

“Eomma, I got this for you~” He sang while handing the paper bag over.

The mother and son enveloped in a quick hug and Wonpil kissed her on the cheek.

“Oh. Isn’t this. . . .” He paused, realizing Ara sleeping in the corner of their restaurant.

“She’s your fan right?” She noted.

Wonpil nodded and corrected her in his mind “Sungjin’s fan to be exact”

“I will get your sister out to hail a cab for her.” She sighed, about to head to the kitchen.
Looking at her face, Wonpil’s thoughts drifted back to their previous encounter at the fan meeting.

“Sungjin, he deserves MYDAY’s love”

“You too, oppa”

“Eomma, I will get the cab for her” He stopped his mother and smiled.

“Are you sure?” She questioned worriedly.

“Don’t worry” Wonpil said, taking out his mask from his pocket and putting it on.

Ara woke up with a headache and a burning throat. She found a glass of water and a bottle of painkillers sitting at the top of her desks.

A note was below it and she recognized as her sister’s handwriting:

Unnie,

Have some painkillers if your head still hurts tomorrow morning.
Did anything happen? Why did you drink so much? ):

Popping a pill in her mouth, she swallowed it and went back to bed. She remembered there was a mixed concert schedule today at Busan but she didn’t feel like going. She couldn’t see Sungjin the same way as before and she wondered if he had spotted her. Sending a quick text to the group chat saying she was ill, she threw her phone aside. She cracked out a burst of dry laughter, recalling how they camped at the airport, and ShinYe bought ice packs from the convenience store to change for her every few hours. It was only after they took pictures of their airport arrival then she agreed to go to the hospital for emergency treatment.

“I am pathetic for loving you like this right?” she laughed, yet again.